dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Terrible idea I love it
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
