At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
