we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
