Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
