How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We got so high we made milksteak
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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