if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
