I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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