...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
vagina is talking i cant
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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