He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
