I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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