I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
