in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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