I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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