i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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