when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
