You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
