This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
