discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
