it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
