whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
