i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He felt like a one man threesome
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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