we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
