If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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