I love black thongs
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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