Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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