Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
