i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
