I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
