omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
