How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
