I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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