I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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