She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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