First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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