No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
