my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
