I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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