on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
