i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize