a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
