Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
