I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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