I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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