my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
