So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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