At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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