Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
