oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
