she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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