Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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